How to Stay Productive

You may know how to be emo. You may know how to be ninja. But do you know how to be productive? If you’re wasting your time reading this article, then I think not. Here are some very useful tips on how to stay productive.

1. Get rid of your social life

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Friends? Who needs friends? Friends are merely a distraction, preventing you from achieving the grades you want. Lock yourself in a cave, isolate yourself from any shape or form of human interaction, and just study until your brain forms a 6-pack from all of that number crunching. 

2. Throw away all of your technology

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Technology is completely useless. Just throw away all of your laptops, and phones because you don’t need them. It’s not like almost every single one of your assignments requires the use of technology. It’s not like these days we are so dependent on technology that we can’t even spend 5 minutes apart from our phones in order to focus. Oh wait….

3. Get bubble tea

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Boba may not be rich in nutrients, but it’s rich in happiness. Studying is the boring-est, and if there’s nothing to look forward to when you’re studying, then you’re not going to do it. Since bubble tea is the best, you’ll always look forward to studying. Even though your bank account might suffer, your grades will thank you for it.

4. Make a plan

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Failing to plan is planning to fail. And if you plan to fail, you WILL fail. And if you’re going to fail, then you’re not going to plan to study. And if you’re not going to plan to study, then you’re not going to plan to be productive. And if you’re not going to plan to be productive, this article has served no purpose.

5. Sleep

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What is sleep? Sleep is a very complex notion that many people struggle to comprehend. To put it simply, in order to not feel like a dead cow in a ditch every waking moment of the day, YOU HAVE TO GET ENOUGH SLEEP. If you still can’t understand, here is an abbreviated version of what I just said: sleep=increased productivity. If you STILL don’t understand, then don’t worry. You’re not alone.

Speaking from personal experience, following these tips have made a tremendous impact on my productivity. Whether this impact was negative or positive, I think can speak for itself.